To Love and Be Loved
by pinkwildcat94
Summary: Astoria Greengrass and Draco Malfoy went on with their lives feeling like they didn't deserve to be loved, but there they are holding each other hoping for a bright future together.


Astoria Greengrass had only been in love once before. She was fourteen years old when she met a Muggle named Wren. He was sweet, intelligent and an overall good person. It was everything Astoria wanted from a guy she liked. Wren, as a person, seemed too good to be true which makes her wonder if he isn't some figment of her imagination.

Growing up, Astoria was never 'boy-crazy.' She knew that at some point of her life, she would be married off to someone by her parents so she thought she didn't have to waste time dating or fawn over a guy.

There was a part of her that didn't want to be married off to so that she wouldn't have to feel guilty of making someone a widower when she dies. Ever since she was informed of her curse, Astoria knew she wouldn't grow to see old age. Due to her condition, she might not even be able to carry a child full-term. If she did marry someone, she would cheat them of an heir. She figured why waste anyone's time with her when she would had just been contented with being alone.

She didn't hate love. She loves the idea of being with someone who makes her smile every day. But being in love also leads to heartache and she doesn't want to go through it nor does she want to put anyone through it. So, she kept her head low, not attracted too much attention to herself and live her days as she wants to.

When Astoria met Wren, her heart opened for the first time as she started to fall in love with a guy who made feel like the luckiest girl ever. He didn't care that she was a Witch nor did she care that he wasn't a Pureblood Wizard. Astoria was attracted to how self-assured Wren was with himself. He was confident but not boastful. He deeply cares for the people he loved. He was proud of his upbringing even though it was a humble one.

But when life gives, it also takes. Wren was a victim of a vindictive Death Eater while protecting his mother who was a Muggle-born Witch. Astoria was left heartbroken. All she had left of Wren was her memories of him. Because of this, Astoria felt that she could never fall in love again, much to her mother's dismay. Giselle Greengrass never once gave up on matchmaking her youngest daughter with a suitable man.

"So, Mama has told me about the men she was thinking of setting you up with," Astoria's sister, Daphne, stated as they were sitting in formal living room. Astoria simply chose to remain silent. "There are lots of real contenders that I think would you would love," she added.

"Mhm," Astoria responded, not taking her eyes from the book she was indulging in. Now that she had graduated from Hogwarts, their mother was putting her on the market for potential suitors to court her.

Daphne sighed as she looked at her little sister, "Astoria, it has been two years. Don't you think time for you to move on?" she questioned her gently, referring to Wren's untimely death. She understood that Astoria needed to mourn but Daphne knew that her sister is stuck in the past. "I know 'courtship season' can be annoying, and suffocating, with Mama being on your throat the whole time but she knows what's she doing."

Astoria had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Yes, it is true that their mother did introduce Daphne to her husband, whom she has been married to for eight months and so far, he was a swell guy, but this "courtship season" isn't something Astoria wants to be part of. She would rather make use of her time focusing on the Greengrass Foundation, an organisation created by their father of which Astoria would be taking over soon as Daphne didn't want to.

Running a philanthropic organisation would eat a lot of her free time but this was something Astoria had always wanted to do - to help people in ways that she could. The Greengrass Foundation help Wizards and Witches who lost everything during the most recent war. It places more focus on the children, especially those Muggle-born, who are left on the streets and orphaned. Every year they would hold a charity ball to raise money for the foundation.

"You know I don't like it when Mama tries to set me up with guys I don't know," Astoria finally responded. "What's so romantic about being forced to marry someone?"

"Everyone deserves to find their true love, Astoria," Daphne told her.

"I already found my true love," Astoria replied coldly.

"Well you can find another one then," Daphne encouraged.

"There's no such thing as finding a _second_ true love!"

"Well maybe Wren _wasn't_ your true love," Daphne argued.

Astoria closed her book, not caring if she marked the page or not, and looked at Daphne with an insulted look on her face. "What did you say?" she questioned.

"If Wren was your one and only true love, he wouldn't have died. If he was your 'meant to be' then he'd still be here but he's not anymore. So, maybe he's not your 'meant to be' and that's ok because that means someone out there is, and he is looking for _his_ 'meant to be' too and that person is you," Daphne explained to her.

"I can't believe you are actually saying this things to me. I loved Wren," Astoria responded, hurt by her sister's words.

"Do you?" Daphne challenged her. "Ok maybe you did but you were _14_ when you met him and spent majority of the time apart with you being in Hogwarts and him in the Muggle World, only exchanging letters by owl. How do you know you really love him if you barely know him very well?"

"Daphne, just what are you trying to say?"

Daphne hesitated before answering her sister. She knew whatever it is she say next will upset Astoria, however, she needs to hear this from her or else Astoria would never come to the realization. "If someone loves you, they wouldn't have left you. They would have stayed and never gave up on you," she said. "I'm sorry, Astoria, but it's true and you're going to have to accept it sooner or later."

"He died saving his mother. He was a noble person. You want me to be angry with him for sacrificing himself to save his family? Name one person wouldn't risk everything to do the right thing to save their family," Astoria challenged her.

"Just because you can't see people risking everything for their families, it doesn't mean that they didn't do it. I could list down the people I know who would do or have done the same thing as Wren did but I know that now you wouldn't be convinced because you're still asleep in your own bubble," Daphne answered her. "It's time to wake up and join us in the real world."

Astoria digested everything Daphne had said to her and wondered if it was true. Has she been asleep in her own bubble? She knew she loved Wren, she never doubted it before, and she knew that Wren loved her. Or maybe he didn't. The truth was, she still never understood what love was. She thought if someone loves you, you should love them back.

"Maybe you're right…" Astoria said sadly. She looked at her hands to prevent her sister from seeing her tearing up but Daphne saw it anyways. "Maybe I'm using Wren as an excuse."

"An excuse for what?" Daphne asked curiously.

"I don't deserve to be loved by someone because...I'm going to leave them ultimately. So, what's the point?"

"Astoria…"

"No but it's true," Astoria interrupted. "I know I'm not going to live a long life so why cheat someone of that? I deeply care for Wren yet he still left me and it hurts me until this day. I don't want anyone to feel this when I leave them. It wouldn't be fair."

Daphne grabbed Astoria's hand and held onto it tight. She was unsure what she wanted or needed to say next. They don't usually talk about Astoria's illness for her sake. Seeing her little sister feeling so helpless doesn't sit well with Daphne. Astoria deserved as much happiness as the next person. Daphne leaned into her sister and pulled her to a hug.

"You deserve to be happy," Daphne whispered to her, still holding her sister in her arms. "Just don't forget that ok?"

"Happy…" Astoria echoed. She missed being the happy and carefree person that she was. "I want to be happy," she declared.

"Good. No one's stopping you," Daphne smiled.

* * *

Draco Malfoy had never fell in love before. However, he knew that something deep inside him wanted to find someone who would love him for who he was. Someone he could call his best friend, and be his comfort and home in his world full of darkness. He needed someone to help keep his sanity and help him survive the dreadful world. As selfish as it sounds, all Draco ever wanted was to be loved by someone who would love him unconditionally, and in return, he would love that person as well.

He knew his parents loved him. They spoiled him rotten. They got him everything he ever wanted, but always expected something in return for their generosity. This behaviour was especially explicit by his father, Lucius Malfoy, who always expected Draco to be the best at everything. Narcissa Malfoy was a lot more enduring. She pushed Draco to what her husband wanted their son to be because she thinks that her son has tremendous potential, but at the same time she was also Draco's comfort growing up.

"You are much better than you think you are, my son," Narcissa once said to a 12-year-old Draco as she tucked him to bed. Earlier that day, he informed his parents that he was not the top of his class during his first year in Hogwarts. His father was less than pleased. "Never lose sight of that. You are a Malfoy after all. You are destined to be the best."

Draco looked at his mother intently, "Do you really think so? That I am destined to be the best?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course. Hard work will always be rewarded as long as you persevere towards the goal. But above all Draco, know who you are and you will succeed in life," Narcissa replied before kissing her son's forehead goodnight. "Sweet dreams, my son. Mommy always love you."

However, his father had a different take when it comes to achieving greatness.

"You should be more cunning, Draco! You should always strive to win. Do whatever it takes to win and never let anyone take your success away from you," Lucius said to him. "I just don't understand it. Success should come easy for a Malfoy," he added disapprovingly.

"I'm sorry, Father," Draco replied sadly.

"You will spend this school holiday training and studying hard for your next year. At the very least you should have a head start. I will find you a tutor and find a coach for you to join the Quidditch team in the new term. Every waking moment you have will be focused on this, you understand?" Lucius declared.

"Yes, Father."

Lucius approached his son and bent down to meet his eye level, "I know you may think that I am being strict and unfair towards you, my boy, but I am doing it because I love you. I want to see you be the best you can be."

Draco nodded furiously. To hear his father say that he loves him was the motivation he needed. He looked up to his father growing up and wanted to be just like him. He wanted to be the best and have the world at the palm of his hands. Growing up, this was what Draco thought love was. He thought love needed to be earned like rewards and prizes, and that if he done something wrong or bad, he didn't deserve it. Thus, it was a major reason why he felt he didn't deserved to be loved after his involvement with the Death Eaters during the second Wizarding War.

"I can't imagine a crazy person who would want to spend the rest of their lives with me," Draco said one day as he was having tea with his mother.

"Loneliness doesn't look good on anyone, my dear boy," Narcissa replied to him as she held her teacup close to her mouth.

"You're just saying that because you want me to find someone to give us an heir for the Malfoy name."

"Maybe so, but finding that special someone is a reward itself," she responded again. "Your father may have his shortcomings but I love him nonetheless. He's my soulmate and I am his. We're placed in this world to find someone who would look at us beyond our mistakes and flaws. Do try to remember that, Draco," she added as she pushed an envelope that was placed on their table by the house elves.

The heading reads: " _You are cordially invited to the 12th Annual Greengrass Foundation Charity Ball."_ Draco was invited by an old classmate and former Slytherin, Daphne Greengrass whom he shared a social circle with back when he was in Hogwarts. They were still close friends and she was one of the few people he knew that reached out to him even after the events of the war.

"Who knows," Narcissa continued. "You might find someone who could actually help you out of this whatever state of emotion you've been sporting in for the last two years. Love can do you know."

Draco scoffed as he picked up the invitation again to read the contents. The party was held at the Greengrass Estate. Draco remembered going there a few times during his youth with his parents and his group of friends, "You seem so sure that the love of my life is going to be at this party," he said sarcastically.

"It's always good to have hope, dear," she responded.

 _Hope is for suckers and it leads to eternal misery._ At least that was what Draco felt his whole life because hope can also bring disappointment. So why must he put himself through it?

* * *

Astoria and Draco attended the social event without any hope of meeting someone but instead to show their faces, and yet they left with hopes of seeing each other again. During the event, they found themselves glancing over at the other and locking eyes for a moment before turning away with secret smiles and feeling their heart beating quickly.

It was odd because it was not the first time they met other or cross paths. Draco knew Astoria even before she attended Hogwarts, heck they were even in the same house together. Still, they were just merely acquaintance, never really interacted, much less have a conversation with one another that last more than three sentences. But for some reason, there was simply something there that wasn't there before that night.

"Hi," she greeted him simply after she reached the bar of where Draco was leaning against.

Draco was caught off-guard and wasn't sure if she was talking to him or the guy the was standing behind to him. He returned her a smile and proceeded to avoid eye contact with her.

"Would you like a drink?" she offered him before placing her order, seeing that his glass was almost empty.

Draco looked to over to his shoulder, waiting for the guy to respond to her but Astoria kept her eyes on him. "You do know I'm talking to you right?" she asked his amusingly.

Draco blinked a few times, "Oh, sure. Firewhiskey please," he finally said, blushing at his actions.

Astoria nodded in response and made her order with the bartender. Draco took caution to the wind and stepped closer to her but not so close that their arms touch. While waiting for their drinks, they stole a glance at one another and Astoria gave him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

"So, are you enjoying yourself?" she asked him, trying to make conversation.

"It's not the worse social event I've been to in recent years," Draco said casually making Astoria laughed quietly. "I hear from Daphne that this will all be yours soon. The foundation, I mean," he said as they received their drinks.

"Yeah, it will be in a couple of months. I'm still learning the ropes. My father will step down once he thinks I'm ready. I'm really looking forward to it," Astoria replied.

"So how exactly is the foundation contributing to those in need?" he asked curiously, wanting to keep their conversation going. He felt that he finally found someone, other than Daphne, whom he is willing to talk to.

"It's very long winded," Astoria warned him jokingly. "We help a lot of people."

Draco smiled, "I got time."

"Right this way then," Astoria replied as she brought him back to the party.

They talked all night after that and the next following days. When they were not seeing each other, they were writing to one another via owl. Draco even found himself involved in the Greengrass Foundation, participating in charity drives and donating money every now and then. At first, he did it to find an excuse to spend more time with Astoria, but he soon realized how he liked helping others. It made him sleep better at night that he was helping people instead of causing misery.

Draco and Astoria became quite close friends after the Greengrass Charity Ball. They could talk to each other about their lives, what they have been up to and even what their hopes are for their future. Astoria wanted to be able to reach out and help as many people as she could, while Draco told her that he hoped he could grow to not hate himself anymore. They became each other's confidant regarding all their secrets and insecurities. Astoria even told him about her illness one day.

"It's a blood malediction," she explained.

"I've never heard of it," Draco responded with a worrisome look on his face.

"It's very rare. It's easy for me to get sick because of it because my blood won't be able to fight viruses. Healers said it only will get worse as I grow older. But there might be a chance that I do get to live old age but it's pretty slim," Astoria explained again. Her mother had advised her not to tell anyone about her curse. The only people that knew were her best friend and her family.

She decided to tell Draco because she wanted him to know. Lately, they have been seeing a lot of each other and Astoria could tell that there might be something developing between them. All those conversations they had, all those time they spent together, all those playful moments they experienced together, both knew deep down their relationship wasn't platonic. It was developing into something more.

Astoria felt herself falling in love with Draco more and more every single day. She loved seeing the person he became which was a big contrast to who he was during his Hogwarts days. Obviously, he didn't change entirely as she can still see a hint of young Draco Malfoy in his behaviour but he seemed more together and knew who he was. She felt that she should get out of whatever it is brewing between them before Draco gets hurt.

"And there's no cure?" he inquired.

"No," she inhaled. Astoria expected Draco to end their friendship or run away. But instead, he pulled her into a hug. He placed his arm around her frame and one hand on her head. They stood there for some time in the snow after Astoria wrapped her arms around Draco too.

Draco released his embrace from Astoria slowly but still held her close. They were just inches from each other, both were afraid and wonder over who will make the next move. Astoria took a deep breath and placed her lips on his. It felt warm and it felt right. She felt as though she just lifted a weight from her shoulders. She felt as though everything is finally ok with the world and there is just peace.

Draco moved his lips on Astoria's and deepened their kiss. At that moment, he felt his world was finally balanced and the whole universe is finally give him a break. He felt like he could have conjured a Patronus right then and there. This woman in front of him did that for him. He loved Astoria a lot. It didn't take him long to realize that ever since they got closer after the charity ball. He felt the need to give the world to her because that's how much he loved her.

The he stopped.

Astoria was too good for him. Too good. If word got around that they're together, people would start talking about her. She would have to endure gossips and media frenzy all because she was with him. He couldn't let that happen to her.

"I have to go," he whispered to her regretfully.

Astoria looked at him in confusion, "What?"

Without another word, he apparated away leaving her behind. He apparated back to his bedroom at Malfoy Manor, kicking himself of what he did. He ruined it. He ruined their friendship. He felt that he could never face Astoria ever again. Then he decided that not seeing her again was better than seeing her get hurt.

They stopped seeing each other for weeks. Draco needed some time to recover from what he did. He had to force himself to not write back to all the letters Astoria written him, wanting an explanation of why he left so suddenly and why he is avoiding her. Astoria was confused, upset but above all furious at what Draco did. She just told him her deepest secret, kissed her and then ran away.

Astoria came by the Malfoy Manor one day to confront him. She was greeted at the door by the Malfoy house elf and led her to where Draco was. He was in the library studying some books when he saw her at the door frame. She stormed her way towards him just when he stood up from his chair and Astoria pushed him back down to the seat.

"You are a complete ass, Draco Malfoy!" Astoria shouted at him.

Draco breathed and tried to speak, "Astoria…"

"You think you could just kiss me one day and then just leave me like that? What kind of man are you?!" she continued, interrupting what he was trying to say.

"You kissed me first!" he accused her, abandoning what he originally wanted to say.

"You kissed me back!" she debated with him. He could see the hurt in her eyes and it made him feel guilty. "And I know for a fact that it wasn't a pity kiss either. How can you do something like that and try to cut ties with me after all we've been through together. If this is about my illness-"

Draco got back up to his feet and looked at her intently, "It's not!"

"Then what is this about?" Astoria demanded.

"I'm in love you, Astoria!" Draco declared waving his arms furiously. He could see Astoria breathe in shocked at his statement and waited for him to continue. "But you deserve better! You deserve someone better than me. You deserve someone who will make you happy. I can't make you happy."

Astoria tried to digest what he just revealed to her. "Well if you love me then why did you leave me like that then? If you love me, you _wouldn't_ have left!" she argued. "I can't believe you are still in this self-loathing state. The war is _over_. It has been over for almost three years now. You should stop living in this bubble of yours and join us in the real world. Did you really expect yourself to live in self-hatred for the rest of your life?" she questioned him.

"Of course not."

"Then stop doing this to yourself!" she shouted at him. "You need to wake up and realize the fact that you _deserve_ to be happy too, Draco. Even though you were a bad person in the past, I know deep in my heart that you are not that person anymore. You are trying your hardest to be the best person you could be and I see that and that is what I love about you. So, stop being stupid and start forgiving yourself."

Draco stared at her in shock over what she just admitted to him. She said she loved him. Astoria was about to leave the library when Draco held onto her hand, not wanting her to go just yet.

"Astoria," he called after her.

"What?"

Draco leaned in and kissed her passionately. He felt the tears that formed from her eyes as they were arguing with one another. He pulled back and wiped those tears and leaned in once again to kiss her. Astoria held on Draco's neck for support and things started to get steamy. Astoria pulled back to catch her breath and leaned her forehead with him.

"You make me happy, Astoria," Draco confessed to her. "I want to make you happy too but I don't know if I can promise you that."

Astoria moved her hand to Draco's cheek and made him look her in the eyes, " _You_ make me happy," she admitted. "I feel like I can be happy forever as long as you're with me always. I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"Do you really think I deserve to be happy after all that I've done?" he inquired.

"Yes, definitely. Always," she replied honestly. "You're a good person now, Draco. Never doubt that for one second."

"Did you really mean it when you said that you love me?" he asked again.

"Yes."

"And you will take me as I am?"

"Only if you take me as I am. A sickly little Greengrass," she responded with hint of amusement. "Draco, I don't expect anything from you other than you promise that you would love me always and to never leave me."

"I will never leave you," he promised her. "But I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Of what's to come for us. People will start talking about us. I'm not even sure if your family would approve of me. I'm not sure that they will see me other than an ex-Death Eater," he explained.

"I don't care. The only opinion I care about is yours," Astoria reassured him as caress his hair. "I'm scared too, you know."

"About what?"

"I want to be with you, but I don't know how long I can. I don't want to hurt you," she confessed to him.

Draco grabbed her free hand and held it close to him chest. "Then I'll take my chances," he said bravely. "Because this is far better than not being with you period."

Astoria beamed him with a smile and moved her hand towards his cheek again. "Can you please tell me again? That you love me?" he asked.

She giggled quietly and looked at him in his grey eyes, "I love you, Draco Malfoy."

"And I love you, Astoria Greengrass. Always. Forever. And I would never leave you."

If 10 years ago, someone was to come to Astoria Greengrass and Draco Malfoy and tell them that they would be in each other's arms in an embrace declaring their love for one another, they wouldn't believe it. But there they were, looking into each other's eyes like two lovesick puppies not wanting the moment to end. They were each other's 'meant to be' and each other's soulmate.

And if someone would to tell them that years after that, they would wed at the Greengrass Estate in the spring, and welcome their first son few years after they got married, they would think it's all just a joke. But there they were in Platform 9 ¾, bidding farewell to their son as he heads off to his first year at Hogwarts.

Astoria leaned towards Draco as she waved to their son. She still had a hard time believing that she had a son. To think that she wouldn't be standing there if Daphne hadn't made open her heart, she wouldn't be with the man of her dreams. Draco held on to his wife's body closely and kissed her forehead. To think that he wouldn't be standing there, being the luckiest man in the world, if his mother hadn't forced him to attend some social event where he did meet the love of his life.

It's funny how things fall into place when you open your heart and never give up fighting for what you want. Love doesn't come easy and not a lot of people experience the same kind of love. But if you wait for the right moment, it's magical. Sure, Draco and Astoria had to detour in dark places to get to where they are now, but the lessons they learn along the way made it all worth it.

* * *

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